MaLIEsian AirLIEs

Note: This article is not intended to hurt anyone’s sentiments. My prayers go out to the victims of Flight MH370 and their grieving families. The purpose of this write-up is to mock the people who have bungled up this search operation so bad with their lies, their incredulous theories, and all the withholding of vital information and backtracking on statements, turning it into the biggest farce of the 21st century. I’m talking to you, secretive Malaysian investigation in-charges. To you trashy two-bit tabloid writers, and to self-appointed Nancy Drews and Hardy Boys crowding the www, who are deriving a major kick by sensationalizing this tragedy. Stop floating ridiculous and preposterous ideas. Your speculations don’t amount to proof. Enough is enough! Give us the whole truth or nothing at all!

Just where IS Malaysian Airlines’ Flight 370???

From malevolent aliens abducting the big bird 😯 to a wannabe-Bermuda triangle in the South China Sea walloping the aircraft 🙄 , from J.J. Abrams masterminding the disappearance to promote a forthcoming installment of LOST 😀 to the tragedy not occuring at all, it being a figment of someone’s fertile imagination, 😮 , the theories have gotten more outlandish with every ticking minute.

The world, especially the World Wide Web, has taken to playing Eenie Meenie Myna Moe in a big way. Each day, the needle of suspicion points to either of the following:

A. An otherwise gay (pun intended!)captain who suddenly felt not-so-gay and turned suicidal.

B. The roving-eyed co-pilot who enjoyed a good fag and maybe a shag? in the cockpit

C. Mario Balotelli’s estranged brothers from Iran 😆 , and

D. Mangosteen boxes jostling for space in the hold and waging war against the lithium-ion cargo, thereby triggering World War III in the hatch below! 😀

IMHO, the Malaysian authorities are pulling off a mean Jim Carey. Dumb and dumber…you get it? 😉 They seem more clueless than Alicia Silverstone in the movie by the same name 😆 First, they said nothing hazardous was on the flight. Then, they contradict themselves by admitting to highly inflammable lithium-ion batteries being a part of the cargo.
China-provided satellite imagery of debris in the waters was rubbished by them as ‘ a mistake’. Now, it’s one of the few leads they have that they consider worthy of exploring.
Multiple eyewitnesses on Kuda Huvadhoo, an obscure island in The Maldives, claimed to have spotted a low-flying jumbo jet with red-and-blue stripes on the tail akin to Malaysian Airlines’ logo. But the islanders were immediately shushed and their tip discounted.
The Telegraph recently published the transcript of the last 54 minutes of communication with the missing flight but the Malaysians have dismissed it as being ‘a false report.’
Guys, there’s something called checking and crosschecking your facts before you address the world. You can’t just shoot blindly in the dark, hoping to crack this case with the wildest of speculations and the most embarrassing of refutations.
No wonder empty water bottles are being hurled at their thick skulls when they take to the podium to make bigger asses of themselves!

In all this hullabaloo, we still aren’t anywhere close to what really transpired. And the relatives of the passengers on the ill-fated flight continue to drown in a sea of sorrow and confusion.

So, what’s MH370’s real story? Now, reports have surfaced of it going ‘Down Under.’ Literally! Given that Australia is busy scouring choppy waters upto 7000 m deep in the Southern Ocean and its treacherously-sloping floor with a fine-tooth comb!

Australia has only recently taken on the reins of the marine investigation and PM Tony Abbott’s forthrightness so early on in the search efforts is indeed refreshing for a change. Rather courageous to propose that the flotsam possibly belongs to the missing plane, his comments provide a great fillip to the hitherto-disoriented investigation. It’s been a couple of days since he issued that sound byte and he hasn’t resorted to reneging on what he says like the Malays. That the Chinese and the French have reiterated that they too have sighted what the Aussies have, in more or less the same area, lends tremendous credence to the Australian premier’s beliefs.

For the first time in all these weeks have I noticed people concurring and cooperating in this global search operation. That the US, the UK and China are giving the search in the turbulent Southern waters their all, pumping every resource they have and braving every odd ( Read Cyclone Gillian) in one of the remotest and inhospitable places on earth, makes me hopeful the world is about to achieve closure soon. Amen to that!

Mind-blowing sand art tribute by artist Sudarsan Pattnaik on Puri Beach, Orissa. Image Courtesy: www.made by

Mind-blowing sand-art tribute by artist Sudarsan Pattnaik on Puri Beach, Orissa. Image Courtesy: